It's one word that in an instant can change your entire life. You are no longer exempt from it. It can be all consuming, if you allow it. Somehow you never think it will happen to you. Other people have cancer, not you. So you wake up in the hospital and you realize that, no, it wasn't just a bad dream and you are faced with reality. You now have to make decisions that only a few days ago were never in "your plan" for life. In the middle of all the fear and pain, while all the people around you are looking to you to make a decision, what do you do?
Out of fear, do you blindly do as the Doctor's suggest or do you wait until you know for sure what you are supposed to do, in your spirit? Granted these doctor's are there for your benefit, yet, as a Christian, isn't there one called the Great Physician who created your body and knows exactly what you need? Questions, many questions go through your mind.
No matter whether you are weak or strong, normally, being in this situation humbles you to weakness and drives you to your knees. All of a sudden you realize that there is no amount of money, education, or fame that can get you out of this situation. You also realize that you can't heal yourself. Hopefully you come to the conclusion that your only hope is Jesus.
I did, and oh what freedom that brought! I no longer had to shoulder this one by myself. So, in the middle of the hospital room, with all the faith I could muster (which wasn't very much at the time), I told my family and my precious Doctor that I would not act out of fear and I would not do anything that I didn't feel led (by the Holy Spirit) to do.
Little did I know just exactly what that would mean. I didn't realize then just exactly how Jesus would work all of this out. All I knew is that I desperately wanted, in the deepest part of me, to give Him glory and praise in the middle of this craziness and chaos. I don't mean that I was "Super Christian," who was unfazed by this situation. I just mean that in my deepest parts I knew that praising Him, no matter how I felt would somehow lift me, somehow get my mind off of me and the bleakness of cancer.
So, "inch by inch and day by day" as my friend J.Black says, I tried to lift my voice in, and live my life as worship to Him. As I did, He took me on a journey and gave me the realization that I was exactly where I was supposed to be....in the palm of His hand....
more to come